The Ridiculous Lyrics Thread

[الله أكبر]

Find ridiculous lyrics, and post them here. Offensive stuff, nasty stuff, trippy stuff, whatever.

Song: P. Funk (Wants To Get Funked Up)
Artist: Parliament
Album: The Mothership Connection

Good evening.
Do not attempt to adjust your radio, there is nothing wrong.
We have taken control as to bring you this special show.
We will return it to you as soon as you are grooving.

Welcome to station WEFUNK, better known as We-Funk,
Or deeper still, the Mothership Connection.
Home of the extraterrestrial brothers,
Dealers of funky music.
P.Funk, uncut funk, The Bomb.

Coming to you directly from the Mothership
Top of the Chocolate Milky Way, 500,000 kilowatts of P.Funk-power.
So kick back, dig, while we do it to you in your eardrums.
And me? I'm known as Lollipop Man, alias the Long-Haired Sucker.
My motto is:

Make my funk the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut (make mine the P)
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up. (wants to get funked up)
I want the bomb,
I want the P.Funk (yeah)
I want my funk uncut. (make mine the P)
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up.

WEFUNK, y'all.
Now this is what I want you all to do:
If you got faults, defects or shortcomings,
You know, like arthritis, rheumatism or migraines,
Whatever part of your body it is,
I want you to lay it on your radio, let the vibes flow through.
Funk not only moves, it can re-move, dig?
The desired effect is what you get
When you improve your Interplanetary Funksmanship.
Sir Lollipop Man! Chocolate coated, freaky and and habit forming.
Doin' it to you in 3-D,
So groovy that I dig me.
Once upon a time called Now!
Somebody say, "Is there funk after death?"
I say, "Is Seven Up?"
Yeah, P.Funk!

Make my funk the P.Funk (uncut funk!)
I want my funk uncut (P.Funk!)
Make my funk the P.Funk (uncut)
I wants to get funked up.
I want the bomb,
I want the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut. (make mine the P)
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up.

Make my funk the P.Funk (make mine)
I want my funk uncut (the P)
Make my funk the P.Funk (hah!)
I wants to get funked up. (WEFUNK, y'all)
I want the bomb, (home of the bomb)
I want the P.Funk
I want my funk stepped on (Don't step on my funk)
Make my funk the P.Funk
Before I take it home

Yeah, I dig!
Let me put my sunglasses on.
That's the law around here, you got to wear your sunglasses.
So you can feel cool.
Gangster lean.
Y'all should dig my sun-rooftop.
Well, allright. Hey I was diggin' on y'alls funk for awhile.
Sounds like it got a three on it though, to me.
Then I was down south and I heard some funk with some main ingredients
Like Doobie Brothers, Blue Magic, David Bowie.
It was cool,
But can you imagine Doobie in your funk? Ho!
WEFUNK, we funk.
Make my funk the P.Funk (ho!)
I want my funk uncut (oh, make mine)
Make my funk the P.Funk (yeah)
I wants to get funked up.
I want the bomb,
I want the P.Funk (P.Funk, y'all)
Don't want my funk stepped on
Make my funk the P.Funk
(Home of the extraterrestrial brothers)
Before I take it home.

Gettin' deep.
Once upon a time called Right Now
Ain't it funky now
Far 'round
Hey, doin' it to ya in the earhole

Make my funk the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut (make mine the P)
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up. (I want the bomb)
I want the bomb,
I want the P.Funk
Don't want my funk stepped on
Make my funk the P.Funk
Before I take it home
Yeah

We're not leavin' y'all, I want you all to stay tuned for Starchild
Make my funk the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up.
I want the bomb,
I want the P.Funk
Don't want my funk stepped on (oh, make mine)
Make my funk the P.Funk (I wants to get funked up)
Before I take it home

Don't stop, get down
Talk!
Blow your horn
Peee-youuu!
Wants to get funked up
Well, allright!

Make my funk the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up.
I want the bomb, (P.Funk)
I want the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut.
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up.

Make my funk the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P.Funk
I wants to get funked up.
I want the bomb,
I want the P.Funk
I want my funk uncut.
Make my funk the P.Funk
Before I take it home

Welcome to station WEFUNK, better known as We-Funk,
Or deeper still, the Mothership Connection.
Home of the extraterrestrial brothers,
Dealers of funky music.
P.Funk, uncut funk, The Bomb.

Lollipop Man here, alias the Long-Haired Sucker.
Chocolate coated, freaky and habit-forming
Coming to you in 3-D
So groovy that I dig me
Yeah!
Yeah! P.Funk!

[Violent Unrest in Allentown]

Beck - Burnt Orange Peel

Long ago, with things to be
I got a garden hose and a color tv
I got time on my hands
I got time on my hands
Nobody cares what I do

Long ago, things to do
I got a burnt orange peel and a potato stew
I got work to get done
I got work to get done
Nobody knows where to run

You got a carton of milk and some sound advice
I've got trees that are fake but they smell so nice
Don't give me the flu
Nobody knows I'm with you

Back and forth, I dodge a fly
Like a feather in the sky
Write me out a check
Give me all your cash
Nobody knows, so let's just go home

[Rhino......................]

Mindless Self-Indulgence - Clarissa

Every single one of you goddamn bitches ain't never gonna give me no love
I'm telling you every single one of you goddamn bitches ain't never gonna give me no love
Every little thing you do - rock mine
Every little thing you do - fucking ho
Little teenage bitch little [x4]

If you're so smart, explain this clarissa - pow

Every single one of you goddamn bitches ain't never gonna give me no love
I'm telling you every single one of you goddamn bitches ain't never gonna give me no love
Every little thing you do - rock mine
Every little thing you do - fucking ho
Little teenage bitch [x4]

You're so smart [x3]
Explain this clarissa clarissa clarissa pow pow pow
Explain this explain this explain this clarissa clarissa clarissa pow pow pow
Come on me furgusun come on me furgusun come on and ride me now come on me furgusun come on me well i got nothing come on me furgusun come
On and ride it ride it pow

[الله أكبر]

Song: I Cum Blood
Band: Cannibal Corpse
Album: Tomb of the Mutilated

Swollen with liquid
Ready to burst
A load of my lymph
Will quench this dead body's thirst
One month in the grave
twisted and half decayed
She turned a putrid yellow
I pissed in her maggot filled asshole

Fucking the rotting
My semen is bleeding
The smell of decay
Seeps from her genital cavity

The smell was unbearable
As I unburied her
I cum blood from my erection
I feel it run
down her throat, swallow

Eyes glassy and vacant
body dug up to play with
Skin greasy and naked
tounguing her rotted anus

I need a live woman
to fill with my fluid
A delicate girl, to mutilate, fuck and kill
her body exceptional
she thought I was normal
but I wanted more

I came blood inside of her
chocking on the clot
gagging on the snot
gushing blood, from her mouth
bloody gel leaking out
Body buried in a shallow grave
Unmarked for none to find
The sickness I have left behind
Undetected go my crimes
The greatest thrill of my life

Violent, climax
Surging serum
on my skin

Back from the dead
I am resurrected
to spew, putrefaction

[Anonymous]

Song: You Made Me Gay
Artist: Gravy Train

I got somethin’ to say! (what?)
I’m kinda gay! (yeah?)
I like to get paid and have sex for days (no!)
So listen up ladies
I like guyz and hate babies
If you get me real drunk
I’ll go for the junk in the trunk
You want me bigtime, I only want you minitime
But then I see Matt Dillon and I want it HUGETIME!
You open up your lips and try to seal my doom
So I make a beeline straight to the menz room

I thought you were cute
I thought your ass was fine
But then I took down your pants
And I said “NEVER MIND!!!!”

Don’t even try to play me bitch
Don’t even try to front
You think that you want dong
But I know you want wet cunt
And there you go
Bein’ all sick
Are you stupid, girl?
Of COURSE I want the dick!!!!

Stop lyin’, ho!
You know that you want it!
NO I DON’T!!!!

Yes you do! Just admit it! ADMIT IT!!!!
You made me gay, girl, you made me gay, girl!!!!

Are you gay?
HAAAAY, you made me GAY.

I thought you liked it that way!
Naw, bitch, I’m gay!

I thought you liked it that way!!!!
No, ho, I’m fucking gay!!!!
You made me gay, girl, you made me gay, girl

You ain’t gay
HAAAAY, you made me GAY.
STOP!…jockin’ me girl
Why can’t you see?
There’s a million guys
That are dyin’ to screw me

I see how it is Hunx
I don’t give you a bona
When I’m through with your ass
It will be in a coma
You have the ass
You have the titty
But there’s somethin’ in my pants
That makes me wanna go to the shitty city

But menz ain’t got no pussy
They ain’t got no blamblorg
I’m THROUGH with you gay boyz
Drop outta mankind-a!!!!
You got Willy Wonka up in your underwear
And I like honey QUOTE THIS POST AND CALL ME A CUNT I’m a little bear

Well I only pursued you QUOTE THIS POST AND CALL ME A CUNT I heard that you had girth
But now I wish yo silly momma had NEVER given birth
Go gay, girl, it’s so much better
I like the cheese, yeah, I like the cheddar

Your cock ain’t nuthin’ anyway I’d rather suck a dog off
And I’ll just use a cucumber to get my fucking rocks off
There’s so many girls and there’s so many guys
It’s hard to decide, when I like chicken thighs

You’re missing out on hot ass humps cus I spread legs like anthrax
And Kenny G type blowjobz QUOTE THIS POST AND CALL ME A CUNT I play a mean skin sax

For today go ahead and do me that way
But I made up my mind, silly ho, I’m GAY!!!!

Well maybe I should change my ways and stick to only ladies
QUOTE THIS POST AND CALL ME A CUNT I hate shitty menz and I don’t want shitty babies.

Also by Gravy Train, Ghost Boobs

Gazoyngas a plenty! Back pains she had many!
For such knockers hooters funbags boys were not even ready
She could hold your beer! Without hands she could steer!
Smack a grown man in the face so hard he's shed a few tears!

GHOST BOOBS OH YOU HARDLY KNEW ME
GHOST BOOBS OOH WE HARDLY KNEW YE

It was a fad diet! She had to try it!
Chrissy Snow looked pretty hot, so Thighmaster?
Just buy it!

A paid membership at the bulldyke gym
QUOTE THIS POST AND CALL ME A CUNT her boyfriend liked Sue Powter so why not impress him?
What she didn't foresee was that her big'uns would flee
Her thighs and gut both stayed the same but she could now see her knees
Her boyfriend he did weep!
He thought her twiddles would keep
But they didn't know that they would come back in her sleep!