An Ode To My New Apartment
Written by Manco
This is an ode to my new apartment.
I am no poet, else this would be a poem. It is not a soliloquy . It is certainly not a sonnet. Tragically, I could not even produce a ribald limerick. And I know everybody loves a good limerick. So, sadly, please settle for this small ode, composed mostly of prose.
My apartment and I have flirted for a short while. We’ve met twice, under certain auspices so as not to appear too interested. We would probably be together soon, but I must return to the coast for the summer. Most likely, my apartment and I will pick things up again in August when I return to Pittsburgh.
I know other people have been inside my apartment. But that’s okay. I am a man of the world, I have lived in a few different places myself. Still, when I move in, I intend to make my stay one to be remembered. I will put things in my apartment’s secret places. I will walk down my apartment’s long, sensual hallway, perhaps ending up in the small, tight bathroom or the cozy, luscious kitchen. Where I go in my apartment will depend on mood.
Though I know my apartment is classy, I expect a lot of food to end up inside my apartment, fitting into the oddest crevices and holes. In fact, when I move into my apartment, I will most likely spend some time slowly discovering all the different places to insert whatever strikes my fancy. I will take my time, but do not expect too much delay. It’s not as if I have never moved into anything before.
I do expect some trouble with my apartment. No apartment is without problems and I certainly expect to bring a fair share of baggage. Of course, fixing these problems make my apartment all the more enjoyable. After you solve a problem with your apartment, your apartment is stronger and better able to fulfill your needs.
Of course, my apartment and I will spend some time apart. Around the holidays I will most likely need to be elsewhere due to family concerns. But I will be satisfied knowing that my apartment is waiting for me, snug and chaste, back in Pittsburgh.
I am, unfortunately, a Realist. I know that eventually, my apartment and I will have to part ways. I may become tired with my apartment’s constant growing list of problems. We will both be changed by our time together. We will both be ready for new partners. Hopefully, I will be able to leave my apartment with minimal hassle, making a clean break with a new apartment ready and waiting for my attention. I can only hope that this will not leave my apartment too empty inside. Perhaps my apartment will already have a new tenant lined up to take my place.
With time, I may walk by my apartment on the street. I may even nod to my apartment. It will always hold a special place in my heart, but when I leave I will not return.
To my apartment. I expect we will have some grand times.
