A List of Things That Exemplify Why Dave Randle Is a Jerk
Written by Omnicommie
1. He has long hair.
2. He has a scar on his forehead that he uses as a time portal. He has gone back in time to kill the real first President of the United States, Merribold Richards.
3. He goes to an art school.
4. He walks like a crab.
5. His favorite country is China.
6. He once was the proud author of a Lord of the Rings fan art site.
7. He bathes in owl blood.
8. He thinks Space Pirates Ltd. should change its focus away from humor to human trafficking. Promoting human trafficking.
9. He only uses one finger to type on a keyboard.
10. He cannot spell “orange.”
11. He has never recieved a high school diploma as a result of never completing the first grade.
12. His favorite band is Crazy Town.
13. He does not own a single pair of underwear.
14. He has been excommunicated by the Catholic Church.
15. He wrote the script for the film “Runaway Bride.”
