Indie Fucks
Written by Flyntz
Matt Flyntz, a long time member of the Space Pirate community, writes for the Grizzly - the newspaper at Ursinus College. Flyntz, as we’ve come to call him, is a political science major and usually writes political articles. Other times he does not. This is one of those times. Enjoy.
-Dan
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I am a lonely, lonely man, so I spend my days browsing through Ursinus students’ livejournals in hopes that their tales of woe may lift my spirits and get me through the day. This is an excerpt from one such journal. The author’s real name, for legal reasons, has been withheld, but I can tell you that his livejournal username is indieemodude123.
Monday, January 16, 2006 “This semester is going to rule!�
I just got back from classes, and let me tell you, I have the coolest professor. He’s new here. His name is Dr. Shazmo. Yeah, you’ve probably never heard of him. He has this new age approach to teaching that is just amazing. He doesn’t believe in grades, man. How cool is that? Anyway, the class is called “Existentialism in 20th Century British Literature,� but you’ve probably never heard of it. It’s great, because there are only six kids in the class, so it shouldn’t be cluttered with morons who don’t understand the concepts. That’s all for now.
Mood: Excited
Music: The Decemberists (you’ve probably never heard of them)
Wednesday, January 18, 2006 “untitled�
Classes were pretty good today. My friend, Bill, and two other students joined E20CBL. I guess word is spreading about how awesome Shazmo is. It looks like he’s on the right track for tenure! And, plus, the more people who know about existentialism, the better, because I swear, if I have to hear one more person say “What’s that?� I’ll throw away all my Death Cab CDs, and that’s practically synonymous with killing myself.
Mood: Content
Music: Death Cab for Cutie
Friday, January 20, 2006 “Poultry in the Washing Machine�
I don’t know. I thought the title was funny. I’m weird. Anyway, two more people joined E20CBL today. That makes 11. I’m kind of worried. I thought this was going to be a fun little class, but it seems to be changing. But I have faith that Shazmo wouldn’t steer me wrong. He brought in his guitar and played some Franz Ferdinand today! How cool is that?
Mood: Been better
Music: Minus the Bear
Monday, January 23, 2006 “Unbelievable�
Three more people joined today! And they’re all stupid jocks! Shazmo has decided to slow down so that these uncultured swine can “understand better�! Can you believe that? Why take a class on existentialism if you don’t understand existentialism? College isn’t meant for people to learn! It’s meant for people to show off their knowledge of trivial factoids! Ugh! Man, I hate to say it, but I’m not sure I’m going to like Shazmo that much. At least I can say I knew old school Shazmo.
Mood: Pissed
Music: Modest Mouse
Wednesday, January 25, 2006 “Who needs it, anyway?�
I dropped E20CBL. That bastard sold out. Like The Hives.
Mood: Pretentious
Music: Sunny Day Real Estate
