Space Pirates Ltd.

Holy smokes folks! This is an important moment! Not only has the Front Page just been updated, but it’s being done by none other than Pakistan’s teen heart throb Dan Delaney. Holy Smokes! But enough with the chit chat. Where have I been and what have I done? Your four Space Pirates have been gone for so long, that you started to get that funny feeling in your tummy, like when you eat chalk. Well, we’re not officially “back” per say. We’ve all gone in separate directions.

I have remained in the semi-rectangular state that is Pennsylvania. That’s right, I didn’t get into a fancy “stay on our property and eat our food” school. No, I attend a commuter campus of the behemoth Penn State University. Dave went to some weirdo art school called Fuckbag University, but no one really cares, because that’s what he is. A big fuckbag. Can”t even get the bowl out of the damn cupboard! “Hey Dan, can you get that bowl for me? Out of the cupboard? Because I can’t get it!” Fuckbag… As for Steve, he is a proud member of the University of Tokyo. He packed all his things up in a little sack with his name written on it and boarded a boat for the “Big Orange,” or Tokyo as you regular folk so commonly call it. There he’ll learn the art of homemaking. He’ll have Vacuuming 101; Knitting and How To Please Your Man. He’ll be in tiptop shape when he comes back. Finally, our friend Ethan has gone and left us for the Deep South, to sow his racist seed in a fine white woman.

What now? Will we break up and commence onto separate solo careers? No. We will stick together, like glue and fingernails, through thick and thin. So what if Steve is a pussy, Ethan’s a racist and Dave is a stupid fuckbag? We will pull through. I promise you, as a fourth of this fine organization to bring you semi-humorous satire on a semi-regular basis. Cross my heart and give it to Dee Snider.

So now you get a treat. Here’s a song that I made. It’s not very good, but it’s just the thing for a starving audience.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 9th, 2004 at 1:07 pm and is filed under Pirate Brew Ha-Ha. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.